Sheena Yap Chan: How To Grow Self-Confidence 

00:00:14:21 – 00:00:43:09
Sheena
Because we have a very short time on earth, we don’t know what’s going to happen. And, you know, sometimes you have to do things when we’re scared, right? Doing things afraid. Making that first move. Being a trailblazer. Like starting my podcast. I had no clue what I was going to do. I just know I wanted a platform to put something out there to help women with building self-confidence and at the same time creating better representation, especially, coming from a culture where we’re always seen as quiet, submissive and obedient.

00:00:43:09 – 00:00:52:21
Sheena
I really wanted to dismantle that.

00:00:52:23 – 00:01:23:16
Claudia
Hello and welcome back to Shift Happens. My name is Claudia Mahler, and I’m your host. Today I am excited to be in conversation with Sheena Yap chan. Sheena is an Asian Canadian Wall Street Journal bestselling author, keynote speaker, and strategist. Her space of expertise is in elevating women in leadership and self-confidence through media. I’m fascinated how a seemingly simple question what do you really want?

00:01:23:18 – 00:01:58:07
Claudia
Propelled Sheena onto a journey of self-discovery and to shifting her life mission to encourage and support, especially Asian women, into embracing their authenticity and reclaiming their power. Sheena learned firsthand how confidence is a skill and not a trait. Enjoy this crisp episode and keep in mind what do you really want?

00:01:58:09 – 00:02:02:15
Claudia
To.

00:02:02:17 – 00:02:31:20
Claudia
Sheena. Thank you so much for joining me here on Shift Happens. You’re an author, a speaker, a strategist. You really focus on self-confidence. And I’m so excited to talk to you about the moment that actually was a shift for you within your own confidence, and then also brought you into working with so many other women and people on this important and often misjudged topic.

00:02:31:22 – 00:02:43:03
Claudia
I think confidence and self-confidence. Right? Yeah. But before we dive in, I would like to know from you what is your current state of mind?

00:02:43:05 – 00:02:46:03
Sheena
Like, if it’s good or bad or, like.

00:02:46:05 – 00:02:47:19
Claudia
Yeah, just how you feel.

00:02:47:21 – 00:02:52:20
Sheena
I’m okay right now. I’m nothing. Yeah. I’m. I’m good.

00:02:52:22 – 00:02:59:05
Claudia
Good. How would you describe perfect happiness? What does that mean for you?

00:02:59:07 – 00:03:16:05
Sheena
I think for me, just being able to live life on your terms. Not everyone gets to do that. So especially coming from a culture where, I’ve always been told to live a certain way. I think that’s what happiness is like, being able to live life on your terms.

00:03:16:07 – 00:03:19:23
Claudia
Which living person do you most admire?

00:03:20:01 – 00:03:24:01
Sheena
Well, probably my grandma.

00:03:24:03 – 00:03:26:23
Claudia
Is she also in Canada like you?

00:03:27:01 – 00:03:29:06
Sheena
She’s in the Philippines, so.

00:03:29:08 – 00:03:35:23
Claudia
Okay. Yeah.

00:03:36:01 – 00:04:00:08
Claudia
So the Tao of self-confidence, that is your book, and you described to me beforehand this moment. That was a major shift for you. A friend asking you a question. What do you really want? And I love that because the question, you know, in a way, it’s so simple and it’s almost like an uneventful question. What do you really want?

00:04:00:09 – 00:04:20:17
Claudia
Well, what do I really want? You know, I mean, and that that shock you, I thought was really, really made me curious, you know? Where were you? In which point in your life did this struck you? And then it opened your way to your own confidence and to be able to write about it and to express yourself and to empower other women.

00:04:20:19 – 00:04:22:02
Claudia
It’s huge.

00:04:22:04 – 00:04:48:10
Sheena
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess for me, when I got when someone asked me that question, I was really hard to answer, right? Because I mean, we always think we want something that’s very surface level, you know, fancy cars, big houses, lots of money. But really, when you kind of dig deep and realize, you know, you just want to be able to live a life that’s yours.

00:04:48:10 – 00:05:06:07
Sheena
And at the same time, live life with no regrets. Really. A lot of people just kind of, like, go with the flow, kind of, you know, do the Monday to Friday. Nothing wrong with that. Like having a 9 to 5 job if you love it. But there’s a lot of people out there who think that’s the way to success.

00:05:06:09 – 00:05:28:07
Sheena
Well, there’s one there’s really so many different ways to do that. So, I think for me was learning to live life with no regrets. I can look back and say, I’ve done everything I’ve ever wanted and more. And even if I’m not on this earth tomorrow, like, I don’t have any regrets. Literally. So it’s good and bad.

00:05:28:09 – 00:05:56:16
Claudia
So you said that you were really realizing how much you lived according to societal and cultural norms. And for you, what were like, you know, real big changes that then happened in the way you approached your life and the way you made a decision to to write a book and the way to make a decision to start a podcast and talk to women about confidence and how to find it.

00:05:56:16 – 00:05:58:10
Claudia
And where did we lose it?

00:05:58:12 – 00:06:22:10
Sheena
Yeah, I think the biggest change was really when my aunt passed away from a horrific accident. You know, it’s really unfortunate that that really that happened. I mean, to this day, we’re still very shocked about it because it’s just something that you never thought could ever happen. And then, that made me realize how short life is and made me realize I wanted to do everything as much as I can while I’m still here.

00:06:22:12 – 00:06:53:04
Sheena
Because we have a very short time on earth, we don’t know what’s going to happen. And, you know, sometimes you have to do things when we’re scared, right? Doing things afraid. Making that first move. Being a trailblazer. Like starting my podcast. I had no clue what I was going to do. I just know I wanted a platform to put something out there to help women with building self-confidence and at the same time creating better representation, especially, coming from a culture where we’re always seen as quiet, submissive and obedient.

00:06:53:05 – 00:07:12:10
Sheena
I really wanted to dismantle that. And, you know, I was fortunate to create this podcast and then wanting to have more visibility in other media platforms. As much as I love podcasting. It’s still a very small platform compared to other media platforms. I mean, you know, you have podcasts, you know what it’s like. It’s a labor of love.

00:07:12:12 – 00:07:14:00
Claudia
Yes, it really is.

00:07:14:00 – 00:07:34:06
Sheena
And it got me to writing books and I had no clue what I was doing. I’ve never written a full fledged book. So when, the publisher, Wiley approached me asking if I want to write a book, especially on the topic of leadership, I was almost I almost to take it because I didn’t think I was the right person.

00:07:34:08 – 00:07:52:09
Sheena
You know, dealing with imposter syndrome, feeling I’m not good enough. I was like, I don’t even know what leadership looks like, right? I don’t even know what that definition is. I don’t even know if I would consider myself a leader, and I was just grateful. I have a great support system who encouraged me to write it and told me, no, you need to write it.

00:07:52:10 – 00:08:09:17
Sheena
I was like, okay, I will figure this out. I will write the book and figure this out as I go. I mean, the first book. I had less than three months to write it because I had a very tight deadline with the publisher, and so I’m glad I was able to make it happen and have the book out on time.

00:08:09:19 – 00:08:13:03
Sheena
I made it to the Wall Street Journal best selling lists, so that was really awesome.

00:08:13:03 – 00:08:15:13
Claudia
Congratulations. I mean, amazing, yeah.

00:08:15:14 – 00:08:36:05
Sheena
Thank you. And then now I have my upcoming book, Bridging the Confidence Gap, which is coming out later this year. So I’m really excited about that as well. Just because as women, we still face a lot of gaps. And, you know, we as women are so amazing. We’re so capable and we can do it if we have the confidence in ourselves to see our potential and just make things happen.

00:08:36:07 – 00:09:03:04
Sheena
And it doesn’t have to be perfect, right? Because there’s no such thing. But the more action we take, imagine what we can achieve. And there’s been reports when they said there’s when there’s more women in leadership roles in corporate government and entrepreneurship, the whole world benefits. We have higher GDPs in countries. We have, you know, more money to, you know, make our countries better, building better roads, better structures, having safer places.

00:09:03:06 – 00:09:17:13
Sheena
And that’s all we want, right? We all want to live in peace and harmony. And it’s unfortunate that, we still go through a lot of stuff. You know, there’s still a lot of women who don’t even have basic human rights, unfortunately. And it’s 2025. So.

00:09:17:14 – 00:09:18:20
Claudia
Yeah.

00:09:18:22 – 00:09:38:15
Sheena
I just hope this book helps women see their potential. They said that gender parity was going to take at least the earliest 2154 to be achieved. Yeah, yeah. And that’s really it’s actually delayed a little bit now. Now they’re saying the earliest would be 2158. And at the rate we’re going it seems like it’s going to keep delaying.

00:09:38:15 – 00:10:04:07
Sheena
So this is why it’s so important to show up, to have confidence to go out there and make the changes that are necessary. It’s not going to be easy for sure. You know, it’s going to we’re going to have to work 100 times harder, but it’s definitely worth it. I know this is not going to happen overnight, but if we do our part, you know, we can we can we can make things happen.

00:10:04:09 – 00:10:31:01
Claudia
So you’ve spoken to so many women about this topic and how they found their way and grew into their self confidence. Are there a few factors that you would say are almost universal, or is it all very individual? And, yeah, first this and then my other question then is also how can I check in which state my self-confidence is?

00:10:31:03 – 00:10:53:14
Sheena
Yeah. So after interviewing a lot of, you know, women, I’ve interviewed over 800 women on topic of confidence. I think the most, common things I’ve seen is that as women, we had a certain boiling point, right? We can only handle so much realizing, like, okay, this is this is it like, I, I’ve hit the highest and I need to make a change.

00:10:53:14 – 00:11:14:08
Sheena
Like something’s got to change or else we’re in the same cycle over and over again. And no one wants to be in that same cycle. So yeah. So that’s the common things I’ve seen in women, you know, or something. Life changing has happened. You know, they’ve hit like an moment that made them realize, oh, you know, they can do something different, they can make a change, and then they go out there and make it happen.

00:11:14:10 – 00:11:40:09
Sheena
So, that’s what I’ve seen in women. And as to like a stated confidence, one of the things I’ve done is I have a, a free quiz that gives you the type of personality, self-confidence, personality. So it helps you realize the type of person you are and how you can utilize that in your own journey. So, you know, there’s a lot of people who are self-driven or, purpose driven or some of them are both.

00:11:40:09 – 00:11:51:10
Sheena
So it’s just a very quick quiz that anyone can take. They can check it out on my website. So, that really just helps them to see the type of personality they are and the state that they’re in.

00:11:51:12 – 00:11:55:07
Claudia
But that sounds very practical and straightforward almost.

00:11:55:09 – 00:11:57:09
Sheena
Yeah.

00:11:57:11 – 00:12:30:04
Claudia
Wow. So you said and you wrote in your guest intake form that, the things you learned through the process of realizing how you were function on other people’s expectations and norms, that, what you learned important is the power of self-reflection and how one’s voice is the power and particularly voice. Like, what do you mean, like to have an opinion and be out there and also like, practice your actual voice?

00:12:30:05 – 00:12:33:03
Claudia
Yes. That. Does that also play a role?

00:12:33:04 – 00:12:49:09
Sheena
Oh yeah. I mean, I think also coming from a culture that I’m from, you know, especially the women have always been told to stay in the background, never make any noise, just do as you’re told. So being able to speak up for yourself is a big thing, right? Or being able to share your opinions, being able to voice out your truth.

00:12:49:11 – 00:13:08:05
Sheena
You know, we’ve always been told to not make any noise, don’t tarnish a family name. Just just stay in the background. So we were almost invisible, right? So to show up, to speak up, to be able to speak our truth, to be able to share our opinions like it’s a big deal, especially like in Asian culture.

00:13:08:07 – 00:13:33:00
Sheena
Back in the day, you know, the women weren’t allowed to be in, in businesses and in places of power. You know, we’ve just been seen as like the housewife doing chores, making babies. And, you know, you know, of course we progress, right? We have women in CEO positions. We have women who are breaking barriers, opening doors for other women, making history.

00:13:33:02 – 00:13:50:09
Sheena
So it’s the big it’s big. It’s a big change from from back then. You know, even like being able to have a seat at the table. I mean, it’s, it’s great. We’re slowly getting there. Yes. There’s a little bit of pushback, as always, because, you know, when when there’s change, you take one step forward, five steps back.

00:13:50:09 – 00:13:58:11
Sheena
But, the more we keep going out there and making these amazing changes, it just helps women and everybody else in the world.

00:13:58:13 – 00:14:07:22
Claudia
In your experience, how do women help each other in gaining confidence and maintaining confidence? Establishing it?

00:14:08:00 – 00:14:42:20
Sheena
Yeah, I think having communities and support systems is really important. As women. I think it’s very important to work together. I mean, unfortunately, sometimes as women we tend to, bring each other down, especially when it’s like, positions of power or leadership positions, because sometimes we still fear that there’s only one, one spot at the top. And so if another woman gets it, like, there goes my chance, but not realizing there’s so much, there’s so much opportunity to bring each other up at the top because men collaborate with each other all the time, all the time.

00:14:42:20 – 00:15:02:22
Sheena
That’s why they’re able to advance a lot faster, because they’re not doing it on their own. They’re working together. They’re finding the right people to work with. And if women did that, like, just imagine what we can achieve. So I think it’s very important as women, we need to learn to work together, to collaborate, to create these, collaborations, to see what we can do together.

00:15:02:22 – 00:15:23:09
Sheena
Because I can’t do everything myself, you know, it’s it’s not it’s impossible. And we’ve also been taught for so long that as women, we have to do everything ourselves, right? Like we’re the superwoman and everything is exhausting, right? Very. You know, tell men that they need to be the end of everything. Like, as women, we’re not just running businesses or working jobs.

00:15:23:11 – 00:15:45:17
Sheena
We’re also taking care of family members, taking care of children. You know, we do everything right. It’s good and it’s bad because, you know sometimes that’s all we’re seniors and then we don’t get to advance in leadership roles. There’s been reports that men, men advance faster than women in corporate roles because women are actually doing a lot of the extra stuff in the companies.

00:15:45:17 – 00:16:08:09
Sheena
Right? Like, you know, if there’s an a woman’s planning that or, like, just all these little things that we would have to do that men don’t do. So, it is important to focus on, what we can do to help each other out or have circles or organizations where women can come together and have these types of discussion.

00:16:08:11 – 00:16:36:18
Claudia
So bridging the confidence gap, do you think it also works? Cross-Cultural? I mean, your expertise is also in the culture that you are from as similar cultures, Asian women. Is there such a big difference in the end? I mean, certain aspects, of course. Yeah. But I mean, in Europe, like my generation was still also raised pretty, I would say traditional.

00:16:36:20 – 00:17:16:11
Claudia
And it’s still taking, you know, a lot of time, like I remember that I’ve done in Europe many years ago, like ten years ago, I had a series of events with women, and it was actually meant for international women, but mainly local women. Then joined this series, and I had a young woman sitting there 2423, in tears because, you know, they had just I don’t know, they had just done their law degree or were a doctor, but they were already stressed about the fact that they were expected to have a family, that they were expected to stay at home, that they will be considered a bad mother if they go.

00:17:16:11 – 00:17:33:03
Claudia
I mean, that was ten years ago, 12 years ago. So things have changed, but there is still almost again, I find universal pressure. Yeah. To to behave in a certain way and, and yeah it’s it’s just tough you know.

00:17:33:05 – 00:17:57:16
Sheena
Yeah it really is. And yes, I mean even those women from different cultures, we, we have certain things that are different. A lot of things are similar. The expectations, the negative stereotypes we go through. And as women, that’s something we can definitely relate from. Right? Whether you’re in Europe and Africa and Asia and North America, there’s so many taboos that women have to go through, right.

00:17:57:16 – 00:18:23:18
Sheena
Like let’s talk about periods, right? That’s like a taboo in like almost every country. It’s like that’s part of women shouldn’t be a taboo, you know, like it happens to us once a month. Right? And yet it’s seen as dirty in most cultures. There’s a lot like, like in, in parts of Asia. It’s like when you have it, like you have to live separately because it’s seen as dirty, but it’s not dirty.

00:18:24:00 – 00:18:47:22
Sheena
It’s part of our anatomy. Right. And also like mental health, right? Mental health is also seen as a taboo in many countries. If you say you’re going through something, you know, you’re deemed as crazy when you’re not like, we just everyone goes through stuff, right? And I’m glad it’s being normalized more just being able to talk about this, being a woman, being okay with vulnerability.

00:18:48:00 – 00:19:22:17
Sheena
So yeah like the book Bridging the confidence. Got this. This is for anybody men women. Because it takes men and women to work together as well to bridge this confidence gap. So it’s not just us learning to work together to make things better. So I’m really excited to, share this book with everyone because I think it’s really important to talk about the things we’ve gone through, talk about how we can have more confidence, you know, talk about the reasons why we as women, we feel the way we feel.

00:19:22:17 – 00:19:46:00
Sheena
You know, I think imposter syndrome is a big thing. You know, there’s been reports or said like, 74% of women executives feel imposter syndrome. And that’s big, right? This huge, I’ve dealt with it, for many women have dealt with it. So yeah, it’s definitely a cross-cultural, you know, it’s definitely something that we all can relate to because I, you know, like I mentioned, they do come from different cultures.

00:19:46:00 – 00:19:50:03
Sheena
We still go through similar situations.

00:19:50:05 – 00:20:02:11
Claudia
And also, I think it has to do with setting up clear boundaries. Right. And to first of all, to become aware of the fact that maybe one does not have such clear boundaries.

00:20:02:13 – 00:20:03:01
Sheena
Yeah.

00:20:03:01 – 00:20:06:09
Claudia
And then grow into setting them.

00:20:06:11 – 00:20:29:19
Sheena
Yeah. Setting boundaries is really important. Like being able to say no to something you don’t want to do is like such a great feeling, right? But yet we’re so afraid to say that because we don’t want to offend anybody. But yet, you know, we constantly just take things and take it and not realize how that affects us negatively.

00:20:29:19 – 00:20:50:07
Sheena
So it is important to practice setting boundaries, even if the other person might be happy about it. Because, you know, as women, we tend to want to please everybody. But that doesn’t work because we can’t please everybody. There’s just it’s just not possible. There’s not not everyone’s going to like us. Not everyone’s going to agree with our views or our perspective.

00:20:50:09 – 00:21:11:11
Sheena
So we just do the best that we can, right? We keep moving forward as long as we have good intentions and a good purpose. You know, we just we just keep moving forward. We just keep, doing the things that we’re meant to do. We say no to the things that don’t service. So we have room to say yes for the things that are meant for us.

00:21:11:12 – 00:21:18:04
Claudia
So when you are not writing books and podcasting, what else is on your agenda?

00:21:18:06 – 00:21:46:22
Sheena
Oh well, I, I like to travel, I like to spend time with my family, and friends. I’m pretty boring, you know, I just like to, you know, be with the people, like, surround myself with the people that I love, like my close friends and families. And then being able to travel to different parts of the world to, learn their culture, try their food because I love trying different, you know, cuisines around the world.

00:21:47:00 – 00:21:59:07
Sheena
So like to keep as fit as I can. Especially, you know, being over 40 sometimes, you know, our metabolism starts to wear down, you know, things start to, like, pop up perimenopause.

00:21:59:07 – 00:22:03:08
Claudia
Yeah. Yeah, it’s a whole nother topic. Speaking of confidence.

00:22:03:09 – 00:22:07:12
Sheena
Yeah. So I like to I like to, like, move around as much as I can.

00:22:07:14 – 00:22:27:08
Claudia
Yeah. You have also said that communities are important. And how do you how do you support that? Are you involved in communities? You said that you are also a speaker keynote speaker. So, like, who are your audiences apart from your readers and podcast listeners?

00:22:27:10 – 00:22:45:17
Sheena
Yeah, I have I’m a part of different women’s organizations. So, you know, just being in those circles, being able to meet up online once a month just to talk about the things that we go through. I also attend, you know, different local events and networking events where I can meet other people and just learn from other people.

00:22:45:19 – 00:23:09:21
Sheena
So, and then, you know, being on social media, a bit like being on LinkedIn, I’ve built, a quite a bit following so that I also, you know, utilize that because it’s also great when I get to meet, connections for the first time in person, like I’ve known for years online. But of course, in person is a totally different thing, so I’m glad.

00:23:10:01 – 00:23:26:07
Sheena
So because help me connect to different types of communities from all over the world, and be able to have that when you know when times are tough or you’re not having a very confident day, you have your community that you can turn to.

00:23:26:08 – 00:23:28:13
Claudia
And you are based in Canada.

00:23:28:15 – 00:23:29:01
Sheena
Yes.

00:23:29:07 – 00:23:34:20
Claudia
Yeah. And were you born and raised there or did you come at a later age.

00:23:34:21 – 00:23:47:02
Sheena
Yeah. I was born in the Philippines. I actually moved to Canada when I was seven. So my parents decided to move to Canada. They wanted a better life, better opportunities. So so I’ve been in Toronto ever since then.

00:23:47:04 – 00:23:49:13
Claudia
And how was it growing up there?

00:23:49:15 – 00:24:07:13
Sheena
It’s definitely it was a culture shock and everything really stemmed from my upbringing, not being able to see people in the media that looked like me. I always felt ashamed of my own culture. I feel like I just show up a certain way, be a certain way, have a certain hair color, have a certain eye like eye color, skin tone to feel beautiful and to feel accepted.

00:24:07:13 – 00:24:14:00
Sheena
So this is why I do the work that I do, because I don’t want her and future generations to go through what I went through growing up.

00:24:14:02 – 00:24:18:12
Claudia
Yeah, yeah. Very important work.

00:24:18:13 – 00:24:19:00
Sheena
Yes.

00:24:19:01 – 00:24:23:21
Claudia
Really. Thank you so much. So when is your when is the new book coming out.

00:24:23:23 – 00:24:49:12
Sheena
Yeah. So bridging the confidence gap is out in May of this year 2025. It’s actually available for preorder. So you can now preorder a copy of the book on Amazon Barnes and Nobles Indigo and any other like, major book retailers across the world. So, really excited about that. You know, I was really fortunate to write one book, but to have two books is like, wow, I didn’t even know I had it in me.

00:24:49:14 – 00:24:54:08
Claudia
Yeah. That’s amazing. And, will you be doing a book tour?

00:24:54:10 – 00:24:54:13
Sheena
I.

00:24:54:13 – 00:24:57:09
Claudia
Mean, will it bring you to the United States or.

00:24:57:11 – 00:25:04:07
Sheena
I do have some, Yeah, places in the United States I’ll probably visit. So, yeah, we’ll see what happens.

00:25:04:09 – 00:25:27:21
Claudia
Okay, great. Well, I thank you so much for your time. And I ordered the Tao of Self-confidence, and I’m really, really looking forward to reading it. And, Yeah, I’m so fascinated by the fact that this question, what do you really want? What’s what’s the trigger and brought to you on this important journey.

00:25:27:23 – 00:25:45:04
Sheena
Yeah. Thank you. So much for your support. I hope you’ll enjoy the book. And and I hope the audience will, feel free to connect with me on my website, sina.com. Like I mentioned, there’s a free quiz, and they can also, connect with me on social media, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

00:25:45:06 – 00:25:45:16
Claudia
Yeah.

00:25:45:22 – 00:25:49:03
Sheena
And if they forget, they can always Google my channel. The internet.

00:25:49:05 – 00:25:58:21
Claudia
Yeah yeah yeah. And then it’ll also be in my show notes. All right. Well have a fantastic rest of the day. And thank you so much for your time again.

00:25:58:23 – 00:26:00:22
Sheena
Same here. Thank you for having me on the show.

00:26:01:00 – 00:26:15:23
Claudia
Okay. Bye bye.

00:26:16:01 – 00:26:47:00
Claudia
My takeaway from today. Self-confidence is not a trait. It is a skill. It can be built up. It can grow. It’s a living thing. Sheena’s first book, The Tao of Self-confidence, is a great story and guide. And in May, you can get her new book, Bridging the Confidence Gap. Find all the information in my show notes.

00:26:47:01 – 00:27:12:15
Claudia
Thank you for listening to Shift Happens. Please follow and subscribe to this podcast. It’s an easy hit for you with a huge impact for me. It helps me grow even further and bring you more conversations with women from around the globe. I am so happy to announce that the iconic Danish shirt brand Britt Sisseck supports season four of Shift Happens.

00:27:12:16 – 00:27:50:14
Claudia
I love these shirts crafted in Europe, dedicated to the luxury of dressing with ease and delivering exceptional quality and enduring styles. Use Code Shift happens at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Valid on full price items only. Shift happens has been created and is hosted by me. Claudia Mahler editing. Andy Boroson social media Magda Reckendrees. I hope you felt connected and heard by listening to shift happens.