Claudia: Hello, and welcome to Shift Happens. My name is Claudia Mahler and I am curious about how women made it through turning points in their lives and how they reflect back on them.

Too often, women just get on with it. The everyday, the duties, the expectations—too often, life-altering events are being swept under the rug as life must go on.

With Shift Happens, I want to create a space for women to pause for a moment and to share, to listen, and to feel heard. A space where we connect and talk about life and its pivotal moments—about the highs and lows, the challenges and the joys, about what has been gained and about how enriching change can be. Some things we hear are heavy, some are funny. They all put me in awe as they are honest and raw testimonies of life. 

This podcast is a little window into the world. I invited women from all walks of life and various counties, countries and continents. I am in conversation with authors, business owners, artists, life coaches and change makers. All these women have their individual life story and much wisdom to share. 

Claudia: Hello to another episode of Shift Happens. 

We hear and can read a lot about intuition in the inner voice and that we need to listen to it more. That’s great and all fine, but it is so much harder in the rush of everyday life to do that. When you pause and really try to listen to it, yet fall asleep from mere exhaustion.

And then maybe ending up thinking that intuition might even be totally overrated… Well, it is clearly not. And how strong and life-determining once in her voice can be… we can learn from my guest today. Dr. Barbara Mutedzi joins me in conversation from Indonesia, from Bali, where she teaches Conscious Leadership skills at the university. 

Barbara is an academic of multiple degrees. She’s originally from Zimbabwe, and shares her story of enormous hardship and an abundance of wisdom, love, and positivity. To me, this podcast really becomes more and more a window into the world, and I’m so grateful how this tool supports connecting people, the dots and how it enables me to grow a community of women. This way, the world becomes a village and seems much more manageable. 

Now enjoy meeting Dr. Barbara Mutedzi. 

Hello Barbara!

Barbara: Hi Claudia.

Claudia: So, you have to tell us where you are calling in from. 

Barbara: I’m currently in Bali, Indonesia. 

Claudia: Bali. 

Barbara: Yes. Bali. 

Claudia: Bali on a Sunday. What is it like? 

Barbara: Very relaxed. Very relaxed. Nice and sunny, as is the weather in Bali. And yeah, it’s a very nice chilled out time for me at the moment. A lot of people are having a good time just relaxing over the weekend, which is always good. 

Claudia: Originally you were from? 

Barbara: I’m from Zimbabwe in Africa. And I came to Bali a year ago.

Claudia: That’s exciting. It’s all the other way on the planet. I mean, so far I’ve interviewed women in the U.S. and in Europe. I’m so excited that we are moving further East and away from the—for us—usual.

So welcome Barbara Mutedzi. You are a conscious leadership coach. 

Barbara: That is correct. 

Claudia: You work at the university in Bali, and you have to tell us about your teachings there later. It’s really interesting how our contact came about, because it’s actually through my in-law sister in-law of some degree, who is from Germany, married to a Dutch, but living in Bali, and you met at the university, and she said, “Barbara needs to share her story.” So I am so glad you are here with us today.

Before we get into the deeper parts of the conversation, I have a few prompts for you. 

Claudia: Flat or sparkling? 

Barbara: Ooh, flat. 

Claudia: Dogs or cats?

Barbara: Cats.

Claudia: Apples or oranges?

Barbara: Oranges. 

Claudia: Stones or Beatles?

Barbara: Beatles. 

Claudia: If you were on a small deserted island and you are only allowed to take one thing, what would it be? 

Barbara: Oh, goodness. I’ve had this question multiple times and I have no idea still what I would take. Oh, one thing, goodness, a journal. 

Claudia: If you were to be reborn, what or who would you be? 

Barbara: I would be a bird. Free as a bird.

Claudia: Free as a bird, lovely. What’s your most treasured possession? 

Barbara: My heart. 

Claudia: So, moving from the heart, straight to the pivotal moments. 

When we briefly spoke and wrote emails to each other about that pivotal moment, you had an interesting approach because it was not immediately about the actual happening of a certain event per se, but actually how you connected with your inner self and started out from there. Maybe you can share that again, a little bit. 

Barbara: Yeah, absolutely.

Claudia: Like the two steps and then the stories that are connected with it.

Barbara: Yeah, no, absolutely. Thank you for asking. 

I couldn’t find one pivotal moment. I feel that there are multiple pivotal moments. But the biggest one was as a child, I experienced a lot of abuse —physical, sexual, emotional abuse—from people who are close to me who were supposedly supposed to be looking after me. It was very confusing as a young child, as you can imagine. So I was intrigued on why the people around me spoke about love, but acted differently. I became quite alone as well because of that. 

Claudia: Can I interrupt you for one second because the connection is not really good? There’s some echo in it.

Barbara: Maybe let me remove my earphones. Do you think if… Does that sound better for you? 

Claudia: Yes. Better. Okay, sorry for the interruption. 

Barbara: No, it’s okay. It’s okay. 

Claudia: So, the disappointment and how people talked about love but acted so… differently. 

Barbara: Yes, yes. There was always an internal voice that was quiet within me and that felt very comforting. It was a very curious voice because it had a lot of questions that I couldn’t necessarily find answers to. The library became my best friend because I could find books that seemed to answer some of the questions that I had as a child. The library was an escape for me. I would go on adventures in the books.

One of my favorite authors was Enid Blyton, who wrote The Famous Five. So I could sort of go on adventures with these famous five young children who were the same age as I was at that time, and that felt very comforting. It felt more real than the outside world, because the outside world was too contradicting of itself, because of people saying one thing, and they’re doing another thing. 

When we had our conversation before, we talked about the many degrees that I had. One of the reasons that I went into first before my first degree, which is psychology, was because I really wanted to understand the psyche of people, of myself and other people. Why were other people doing one thing saying another and vice versa?

Growing up as a child with all these questions that I had, I really became intellectual in going deep down and trying to understand these questions and also the answers.

I was very much in conflict with myself because I did not have any good examples around me at that time. My biological parents died when I was very young. My father, when I was five, so I hardly knew him. And then my mother, when I was 16, my biological mother, and then over three or four years, I had to look after my younger brother. 

And in that time, again, the people who had said they’ll look after me after my mother’s death, who are my mother’s close family, left like literally ten minutes after we had buried her because they said, “Your mother left your house so you can look after yourself.”

Over and over again, the people around me withered because they also didn’t know how to deal with the situation. It’s not blaming or anything like that, it’s just the way I experienced that as a child was confusing.

I had to grow up very quickly. At 16, I had to start thinking about how to look after my younger brother who was seven at that time. I also wanted to complete high school, and so many things happened in that space. We could talk for a long time. These are just examples of things that happened as I was growing up that were just so contradictory to the voice that was inside that was telling me that there was so much more out of life.

I think I made a commitment to myself as a young child, without realizing it, that I always wanted to go down or back to that voice, and I did not have a name for it. Obviously this is all after a lot of reflection and retrospective and all of that stuff. Now that I’m an adult, I can explain that, but as a child I couldn’t. 

Years later my mother’s close friend—she’s my current mother I call her my mum now—she and her family absorbed me into their family. She’s American and Dad is British. Within themselves, they’ve got different cultures. And then they brought me into their family and I’m this different culture as well, this Black child, who was very quiet. That was an interesting journey to try and understand each other’s cultures, and how we can become a full family together.

Because also my dad was married before, and had two children before he met my current mum, and then between the two of them they’ve got a daughter, so it’s a very blended family.

Claudia: Patchwork galore.

Barbara: Yes, absolutely. That’s a great way of explaining it. With people with totally different cultures… and that’s how I got into my next degree which was Social Cultural Anthropology.

As you know anthropology is the study of people and culture, so I was very interested in how… We all looked so different on the outside, and we’re also all treated differently on the outside, but inside we’re all the same. We all want love in different ways, and we all express this in different ways, give and also receive in different ways. But the world treated me differently than from my white family, and that was super confusing as well because for me, we were all the same. Now that I’d lived in these multiple households and really seen the core of us as humans.

Claudia: Can I ask a question? When you, as you say, got absorbed into your new family then and started to live with your current parents, were you still in Zimbabwe or had you left?

Barbara: No, I was still in Zimbabwe, ’cause my dad came to Zimbabwe I think in the late ’70s, and then mom in the ’90s, so they met in Zimbabwe, both loved the country and stayed. That’s how my current mom met my biological mom, because they worked together and became good friends. So me being absorbed into her family was so much easier, because I’ve known her since I was 11. 

That was an amazing… I’ll call it a coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidences anymore. I feel like there’s so much something much bigger, I call it the universe, that just orchestrates a lot of these big movements that happen in our lives. I think that’s what the voice within me actually is, because sometimes I call it the universe within me, and I’m just part of the orchestra, and as long as I listen to it, the easier it is for me to find my life purpose. 

The degree that I did was that, it was listening to “Hey, there’s so much more here that you can learn about people and cultures because you yourself have questions about your own life. Let’s go down this path.” So I did that. That was amazing.

I remember in high school, I always wanted to become a doctor because at that time, it was the only thing I knew to describe how to help people. I always knew I wanted to help people, and becoming a doctor was an example of how I could do that. But I hated chemistry because I was not good at it. [Laughter] And you needed to have chemistry to get the medical degree. I struggled with that. 

But years later, I came across medical anthropology, which is amazing, because I still had questions about people and culture, and the decisions we make in our health because of our cultural contexts. I did the master’s in that up north in Durham in the UK. That was a lovely way of taking the health part and helping people understand the medical part and just bringing it into cultural contexts.

Claudia: Just tell me quickly, your PhD, in which of your various fields have you gotten your PhD? And what was your thesis?

Barbara: It’s in Conscious Business Ethics and it’s to help leaders see that there’s a different way of leading. It doesn’t have to be a top-down hierarchical structure where everyone does not have a voice, just the leaders.

I’d worked in various industries where the leaders I worked with, there’s this term, “the buck stops with me.” They made all the decisions in the organization, which has its place to some extent. But if you’re hiring people for their skills, there is a way to allow or prepare or create an environment where people you’ve hired can come in, step in, and flourish. Once people flourish, they actually increase their performance, and the higher their performance, the more they contribute to the bottom line of the organization. 

So that’s what I did, and it all came through the understanding that we are all human beings, we are all interconnected, and all of us have something to bring to the table. As long as our vision is clear on why we are here in this team, in this organization, in this family, in this community, it becomes easy for us to work together toward that common goal, using our different skill sets and talents that we all have.

My PhD was around that—How can you become a conscious leader, for you to heal and grow,

and as a part of that, being able to create conducive environments for other people to step in and flourish? And that was part one. 

Claudia: So much needed. Oh, there’s part two.

Barbara: Yes. (laughs) There’s always part two. And part two. I feel like for me, when I did my master’s degree, one of my lectures was like, “Barbara, you need to break things down, use smaller words and just show us the way, processes…” right? Like holding someone’s hand. I’ve taken that advice and I try and break things down as much as possible to make it as simple as possible because I know that when something is complicated, it takes me a lot of time and willpower to continue on with that. I try and simplify things as much as possible. So part one was that—how to become a conscious leader—and why it’s important and how you can become that every single day in what you do. It’s about embodying leadership as opposed to just having a leadership title. 

Then part two went on to talk about how, yes, with businesses, we have our strategies, but when you have a global vision for your business, you actually increase revenue in the long run because you’re not only serving the people in your concentric immediate circles, but you’re working with the whole world. Whether it’s in climate, whether it’s in finance, whatever your business strategy is, when you’re feeding and know that you’re feeding into the whole world, it makes it more sustainable, it makes it more regenerative because you’re thinking at a higher level, which is really good for any business, despite any challenges that we might be experiencing in the world. Whether it’s the pandemic or war or anything. If you’ve got that bigger global vision on top of your own business vision, and then you marry that with part one, which is conscious leadership skills, that is amazing. It allows your business to be about people, about humanity, about much more than the everydayness, because you’re making such a big contribution to everyone around you. 

Claudia: Wow, what a big life, and what a span. We went very quickly with you through a tough childhood and a huge turning point in your life when you joined this new family of yours. What for you is the biggest takeaway? I mean you said as a child you had an inner voice and you just did what you did. You went to the library that was your escape. Of course, often afterwards, we reflect on these things and can understand what actually really happened. But what was most helpful for you to get through this?

I have this, sorry, I have this fly in here. I’m sorry to deflect from this important question, but I have this fly in here. I’m in the Alps right now, and yesterday the cows were brought back from the high lawns down to the stalls and the fields down here and with the farmers, and suddenly it’s an invasion of flies. Yeah. So I’m sorry for this one zooming around here. 

Barbara: Always one. 

Claudia: There’s always one. Yes. No, but I’m sorry. So reflecting back what has been me and helpful for you, the aha moment that you can always go back to. 

Barbara: Yeah, it’s that inner voice, that inner voice. You know, people call it different things. It could be the God in you, depending on your religion, your Allah, Buddha in you, your higher power or inner power. People call it different things, but there was this inner voice within me that always felt like home. It felt like it was my voice as well, it felt very comforting, and it was a different kind of voice from the voice that I spoke out outside.

I think one of the things that I did to my own detriment was that I was a very big people pleaser because I wanted to be loved. My way of being loved was to work at doing the thing that everyone else wanted to do. When I realized that that did not work, and I started voicing that out, that was not received well, either with my friends or with my family growing up.

That was painful. It was painful growing up to know that I just had to be quiet and to follow through with what other people said or did. This also went with organizations. Speaking up was not something that was allowed. There was no space to do that, there was no space created to do that, and I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I actually worked on myself to cultivate that to understand why there was such a difference in me expressing myself and that’s not being received well.

I’ve been able—bit by bit—to cultivate that inner voice. It’s a very quiet voice. There’s so much happening on the outside, right? When you walk outside, there’s so much noise. It’s all about billboards and big things. It’s other people asking you to do something for them. And there’s nothing wrong with all of that, but if we step out into the world without having filled our own cup first, it makes it so difficult to be authentic and grounded and real.

For me to be of service to other people was to start with myself. There’s a big revolution around self love and it’s not really about the exterior. It’s not about getting your hair done, nails done, going to the gym. Yes, that’s a great start, and a great space to continue in because all of those things have their place. 

What I’m finding, and I now know fully is that self-love is about asking yourself when you wake up every single morning, asking myself, “What does Barbara want right now? What do I need right now to be okay?” And once that’s covered and filled up or in the process, it makes it easy for me as a coach, as a leader to be able to step out into the world and be there for other people fully, because I’m not stepping out with an empty cup. I am filled with what I need to be okay as a full authentic human being. It’s a continual journey, it’s got its ups and downs. 

We talked earlier about me working at the university. Part of the reason I came to Bali was there was an opportunity to work in a university here, which is in partnership with a Netherlands-based university that brings its students to Bali for 10 week programs. 

One of the programs that I coordinate and lead is called The Inspirational Coach and Leader. It’s got three units, and the first unit is really about personal development. Not just reading books and forcing yourself to do things that will make you successful, but really digging down to what I call “underneath the iceberg.”

Above the ice is who we are on the exterior, right? But what’s inside? Your psychology, your cultural beliefs, your traumas, and just digging in underneath that iceberg to really understand who you are and what you’re made of, because right now we are the result of everything we’ve gone through. It makes it easy to lovingly release what doesn’t serve you anymore, and then to take or move forward with what you know feels right and authentic for you.

We all have some gift within us, which is amazing. The more you enhance that, the more you increase your self-awareness by really understanding who you are and what you are right now, which makes it so easy now to take all the puzzle pieces of what you’d like the rest of your life to be like. That’s one of the things I teach in the university on top of leadership, inspirational leadership, and it’s amazing to see young people going through this. It really is. 

Claudia: Yeah, actually, I think it should be a mandatory class for every student or for every young adult starting out in whatever they’re doing. It should already be instilled in schools, actually, if you ask me, especially in these times. I mean, we all know we need to shift globally. And of course, as you pointed out so correctly, we only can do it when we are really connected to ourselves and can live this authenticity. 

It’s tough for young people at the moment, to maneuver the world and to find out what they want. All these opportunities are great, but then also the state of the world is not so comforting.

So that’s really important work. 

You talked about your younger self and you already were so intuitive and smart to live in books and with books, but, still looking back, what would be advice to your younger self? 

Barbara: Hmm. “You’re on the right path. You’re so right. Don’t let anyone else tell you anything.” 

Claudia: You’re on the right path. 

Barbara: Yeah. Yeah. 

Claudia: That’s a good one for your whole life. And what is your advice to your older self?

Barbara: My older self… you are doing amazingly well and I love you so much.

Claudia: Good. Simple. What is next for you? You said that you are in Bali now, and you started your teaching there, and this is your space now. Do you ever want to go back to Zimbabwe or how do you feel?

Barbara: At the moment I’m wanting to stay in Bali. I don’t know for how long. I am happy here. The environment supports my spiritual growth. So I have not looked at what I’ll do moving forward in terms of moving. Right now I’m grounded here. It feels like I can be my authentic self here. 

In fact, when I left Zimbabwe, I sold off everything, packed up, gave away everything and moved to Bali with my two suitcases. I will not be moving to Zimbabwe anytime soon, but one of the beautiful things that I love about my life is that I know what my life purpose is, and my life purpose is to help other people harness and control the power they already have within themselves to live life of and on purpose. To help them cultivate that inner voice so they can live an authentic and grounded life where they feel like they’re the manager and director of their own life and make decisions that are aligned to why they’re here on planet earth, and to work directly with business owners and leaders in helping them cultivate those conscious leadership skills. 

I really see myself as a global citizen ’cause human beings are literally everywhere. So, anywhere and everywhere where one, I feel spiritually ground and authentic and real and I’m supported in that way by the energy and the environment, by the people around me and by myself… Combined with where there is a need, where people are needing that support to figure out what the inner voice is and to elevate it even more… And with leaders who are wanting to create space for those types of people to come in, that’s where I will go. Following that inner guide to see where I’m needed and where this information will be useful for those who are ready.

Claudia: So what are your top three—I mean it’s a little superficial but still—the top three quick tools to find purpose and authenticity?

Barbara: Very easy, actually. So the first one is answering the question, “what brings you joy?” And list everything that brings you joy. With this exercise, don’t write your social roles. When I say social roles, I’m saying don’t write, “I’m a good mother, I’m a good parent, I’m a good sibling, I’m a good leader,” all of those. What brings you as an individual—before your social roles—joy. That’s number one. 

Number two, what are you curious about in life? What are you really curious about? Write all of that down. 

When you’ve listed down the things that bring you joy, make sure you do them more often. Because the more you’re happy, the higher your vibration, the more your life is a joyful journey.

Number two, make time to explore the things you’re curious about, because that’s your inner voice that’s saying, when you go down this path, when you go and research or find more information about this, there is something there for you. When you do the things that bring you joy more often than not, and you make time for the things you’re curious about, those are like little breadcrumbs that are leading you along the path of your life purpose.

Claudia: Wonderful. Thank you. Good. That can be done. 

Barbara: Absolutely. Very easy. 

Claudia: It’s a matter of discipline, I guess, too, right? Because it’s, you know, when do we sit down and “what am I joyful about,” yeah? And really stick to answering only that question. 

Barbara: Yeah, if you think about it, of the 8.5 billion people, we’re 8.5 billion, right? But there’s only one you. So if you don’t take time to really understand who you are, then we are missing out on who you are. It would be so wonderful if we could all just sit down and explore that and bring that out, so that we can all be joyful in being the real versions of ourselves. We’re waiting for that from you and I’d really love to know more about that. 

Claudia: Great. So one of my missions is actually to cultivate more opportunities for broad and inclusive real-time conversations like we have, for example. Why do you think conversations like this are important and relevant? 

We are, I think, you know, you mentioned earlier around the world not being quite stable at the moment. I feel like it’s a great time for us to come together, and really ask the question of “How have we gotten here as a country, as a world, as a community?” Actually because we’ve been ignoring each other, we’ve been making assumptions about each other, we have not been conversing, we’ve been putting each other into boxes which separates us, right? We’re describing each other and saying, “those people,” as opposed to really understanding that we’re all connected. 

I can use biomimicry as an example. Biomimicry is using nature to explain spiritualism and us coming together as human beings. Above the ground, if you’re going to a forest, all the trees are beautifully different. Some are tall, some are big, some are small. You’ve got some vegetation at the bottom. That can look like human beings. We are so gloriously different above the surface, right? So you are white, I am black, I’ve got braids, you got your own hair, all different things. But underneath the surface, all the roots of the trees are different, right? They’re all connected underneath. They’re feeding from the same soil, they’re also giving to the same soil. Underneath the surface as human beings, we are all connected spiritually. 

Now what we’ve been focused on, as a world, I believe, was just above the surface and forgetting that we’re interconnected underneath. We have not been having inclusive conversations or creating spaces where we can flourish together inclusively. That has separated us. Unfortunately, because we are already connected underneath, that does not last long. And I think that’s where the world is right now, where we started to realize, “Oh, actually, what I do affects the next person.” 

The conversations you’re creating, the platforms that you’re creating, Claudia, are very important because they are allowing us back to the journey to ourselves. These conversations, as much as we have different stories, at the core of it, if we really think about it, it’s “See me as a human being, I see you as a human being. How do I come with my talent and skilla, and how do you come with your talent and skills for us to create a better environment above and below the surface for you and I and those around us?” 

So these conversations are allowing us to remove the coat, which is the ego, which is above the surface. I think it was Dr. Wayne Dyer who said that the ego EGO is Edging God Out. If we’re to speak of spiritual terms or Christian terms, God is within us. God’s part of us. So if we are saying, “no, no, I’m Barbara, this is who I am, and you are different,” then what I’m doing is pushing away God, but God is already part of us. The separation, that edging away of the other human being is painful neuroscientifically, because it’s rejecting a part of who we are. I think the world has experienced the pain at a greater level now that people like yourself with this talent of creating these communities are able to do that.

You’re getting people who are saying, “yes, I would love to be part of that community,” because it’s so needed, because there’s so much pain out in the world—unnecessary pain—right now. now. In the past years, we might have needed to go through that so that we can come to the realization that perhaps we were walking a path that does not serve our community. Now we can start coming back to who we traditionally are, which is a community together. We can create a home, a community, a business, nation, region, a world together for ourselves and future generations as well. So, yeah. 

Claudia: Big, big, big.

Coming to the end now. What energizes you? 

Barbara: A number of things. It’s not one thing. Can I say more than one thing? 

Claudia: Sure. 

Barbara: Seeing my students do the work that it takes to dig under the iceberg. Working with my clients who are business owners and leaders, and seeing how excited they are to see that there’s so much more than the mundane tasks and that the mundane tasks in the business. Yes, they have their place, but when we work at cultivating environments for the people that they lead to actually flourish, it is such a beautiful symphony of a business. That’s been amazing to watch. 

For myself, yoga makes me happy. Breathwork makes me happy. Exercising makes me happy. Comedy shows and just having an opportunity to speak to yourself and your audience, this makes me so happy because all of that is intertwined with my purpose, which is to be of service to other people so that they can also live a life of purpose. 

Claudia: Very nice. Now we know, your life is busy, is big, you’re out there. How do you then calm your mind? What are your tools? 

Barbara: The meditation helps. When my mind is very busy, which is often, I surround myself with good people, friends who I can speak to, because sometimes my mind goes into a loop by itself. And it’s something that I’m working on. And being able to speak to other people who are also doing the practice allows me to find my way back home. Sharing stories and writing in my journal also allows this information to get just out of my head and on paper. Going for a walk as well, especially in the evenings, is very calming for me. So all of those things are things that I’ve explored over the years. I did not know all of this stuff that I’ve tried out. And yeah, those seem to help me a lot.

Claudia: Wonderful. So yeah, it’s been so enlightening, Barbara, to speak to you and thank you for sharing your wisdom, your very moving past and your way out of this traumatizing experience. Huge pivots. I’m sure your students are thriving under your guidance and with you as a teacher, and I thank you so much for being on Shift Happens and talking to me, and for our conversation. 

Barbara: Absolutely. Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate that a lot. 

Claudia: Okay, lovely. Bye bye. 

A lot of food for thought today. Barbara’s story was moving, honest, earnest and inspirational, and my takeaways are clearly the quick fixes on how to connect with one’s inner voice.

I will get to it right away, and write down what brings me joy, and write down what I’m really curious about. This practice seems to be not only perfect for the magic moment of winter solstice coming up, but it might actually be a soothing exercise to help us stay in balance despite the heart-wrenching situation for so many human beings out there in the world at this very moment.

Wishing you and yours a blessed, peaceful, and love-filled time with family and friends. 

Shift Happens has been created and is hosted by me, Claudia Mahler. 

Editing, Andy Morrison.

Communications & Marketing, Amy Jacobus and Jessica Pearson from Amy Jacobus Marketing.

I hope you felt connected and heard while listening to Shift Happens.